Jillian Michaels Cardio Kickbox

Jillian Michaels Cardio Kickbox

What is it with workout videos and 1970s bow-chica-bow-bow music? With all the fabulous dance cardio tracks out there, why choose something that reminds me of when Debby Does Dallas was all the rage? Brings me back to my borrowed and treasured copy of Judy Blume’s Forever… But I digress…  I’m sure with the money from Jillian’s vast athletic empire she could whip up a good musical soundtrack, but then I thought that maybe, just maybe, she secretly loves 1970s bow-chica-bow-bow music and wants to subliminally implant its rhythmic beat into our brains.

Once I got over the horrid soundtrack, I dove into the workout. She’ll make you sweat while she fusses and hollers back at her workout companions for slacking. She’s a big fan of jumping jacks and jump ropes though, and given my busty and wiggly state, I don’t share her passion. At some point though, I’m hoping there won’t be as much skin flopping. That’s why I’m here, right? She does every exercise in either a count of 10 or a count of 30. I never felt that I was just going to give out like I did during the CafeMom’s Cardio Workout. I adore standing abdominal exercises, and she definitely brought it with this workout. At the end, one of her workout minions sarcastically remarks, “That’s it?” and Jillian barks to everyone to do another 30 second round of jumping jacks, jump ropes and 10 push-ups. What?! So I get punished for Miss Mouthy back there? Oh, wait. This is a video. I can tell Jillian to stick it and hit pause! But no, I suffered like the rest of them and bounced my way to completion.

It does have its drawbacks. Again, my martial arts training raises my hypersensitivity to the way these instructors do their kicks. Kickboxing videos should not assume that people know how to do these moves and just launch into them. If the instructors do want to forge ahead, they should have some disclaimer that states that the video is for intermediate and advanced viewers and is for an audience that understands kickboxing basics. Also, Jillian wimped out on moves with the upper body. Yeah, we did a bunch of punches, but they really weren’t a big roo-ha-ha, and the uppercut segment thrown in at the end seemed more like an afterthought.

Because of Jillian’s poor choice in background music, her signature militant attitude and lack of upper body segments, I give this video a rating of 2.5 dumbbells on a scale of 5.

Willing to subject yourself to Jillian’s masterpiece? Come on back here and let me know what you think!

30-Minute Cardio – The CafeMom Studios Workout

The CafeMom Studios WorkoutI subscribed to the CafeMoms Studios channel on YouTube because I wanted to do more videos like this one. Sadly, it doesn’t seem to be a fitness channel. There are videos about “Being a better Mom from Prison” and “Real Housewife Kim Zolciak Pregnant with Baby #5!” Yeah. I’m not even sure where the fitness videos are on this channel. So, if you want to try out this video, go here:

The CafeMom Studios Workout

Did I work up a sweat? Yes. Did I feel like dying and say the “F-word” often throughout the course of the workout? Yes. The title is misleading. 30 minutes, it is not. More like 20 minutes of cardio with 6 minutes of stretching and over a minute’s worth of blah blah blah from the fitness instructor. It’s filled with ultra-fun exercises that make me giddy all over – like mountain climbers, burpees, jumping jacks and jump ropes. There’s even a short kickboxing section… if you want to call it that. She throws out a few jabs and crosses that allowed me to catch my breath for a second.

My martial arts background makes me extra critical of kickboxing videos and segments. Mostly because you can really, really hurt your knees if you do these kicks improperly, and poor Chana Balk, the instructor of this video, does a terrible job of describing how to do this kick. She says to lead with your heal and the proceeds to point her toes to the sky. I think she was trying to do a round kick. I’m really not sure. She never gave her kick a name. The most important thing to remember about any kick that goes out from the side of your body – whether it is a side kick or a roundhouse kick – is to pivot the foot of your standing leg in the opposite direction of your kick. This saves you from torquing your knee in a funky direction.

All in all, I’d give it a rating of 3 dumbbells on a 5 dumbbell scale. It was a descent 20 minute workout with a good stretching segment at the end. Willing to sweat it out to this one? Come on back here afterwards, and let me know what you think!